The Letterbox of Sangita

I believe the world is so small and we meet people in the most unexpected way. We create memories and look forward. The fast you accept the changes the more happy you are. I always try to look back in my old memories which make me feel special and happy. But today I have got a priceless feeling when someone else made me remember my teenage love life. Ah, Love: the most unpredictable special feeling.

When I was just 15 and my adolescence period started, I started feeling boys are beautiful. Today’s nostalgia is from that time when I have no idea about “Love”. I still doubt that I understand it. But I am sure, that time I had no clue how people love each other. I liked a sweet boy who looked beautiful and was just 16 years old. We liked each other instantly when we went for a private tuition class. He was the one who was bitten by the teacher because of me. I forgot to bring the book and it was him who gave his book to me and told the teacher he forgot to bring the book.

I felt bad, I wrote a letter to him saying Thanks and with a proposal if we can hang around. We did not have mobile phones those days and own letter was delivered by my own. Hanging around was just a chit-chat with friends in free time. We started roaming around together with other friends and every time it was so special to see his face and I am sure it was mutual feeling from his end.

I belong from a conservative family where I was rarely allowed to bring my friends at home. But his mom and family was so sweet like him. All of our friends used to go to his house, enjoy the snacks and spend quality time. I was always treated nicely by his mom. I remember there was a rose garden with lot of roses and new leafs. A baby rose-leaf color is red and I always loved those to keep inside of my books. When it used to get dry, I used to write our names or may be “I love U” on it.

We always found a way to meet and speak and that was love for us. That was the craziness of being with an opposite gender person where our Indian society does not allow to do it. It was the Year 2002. It’s been so many year now and all of a sudden my mind is driving back to those days because of the below conversation with an unknown person:

HE: Hello

Sangita: hello

HE: Sorry, for delayed reply

Sangita: I wasn’t waiting for your reply..don’t be sorry

HE: Was that your sense of humor or you are showing attitude?

Sangita: hehe.. does my attitude matter for my Facebook friends?!! do you think that deep??!

HE: I thought it was a bit rude

Yes I do

Sangita: hmm.. yeah… true.. I don’t take sorry or thanks without any valid reason.. so tried to make you understand

..that’s all

HE: Does it bothers you a lot?

Any ways

How it’s going?

Sangita: yes.. why to take sorry when the person didn’t do anything wrong by replying late.. and I wasn’t really waiting for reply

it’s going good

HE: Actually in the morning when I saw your Instagram post

Sangita: I think i wasn’t that rude.. you can take this much humor of mine..

hmm.. then??!!

HE: And your name struck in my mind

Sangita: haha

so which post you are talking about?? the inner-self??

HE: Yeah

Sangita: isn’t it nice?!!

HE: Yeah it did

HE: Then I went back to my boyhood days memories

Sangita: I am Happy to make you remember your boyhood..

HE: When I went back to my memories I saw a girl waiting for Bongaon local train

Sangita: not me right ?!!

Because I used to wait for Bongaon local too

HE: That was not the only time I saw her, I saw her several time

She was always in a hurry

Sangita:ah.. cool

similar characteristics of mine

HE: She was always alone, I never saw her with any of her friends

Sangita: 🤐 I have never seen you btw…

 

 

I started remembering the time 2011 when I was lost in my world of study after completing Master’s degree. Was running behind job. My routine was to wait for the train and go for classes. Most of the time alone, serious face, never looked here and there. Was always focused on my own stuff and thoughts. Okay come back from my memories and let’s see what this unknown person has to say next:

HE: But one day she was with a guy , at Shankar cinema hall

Sangita: so true for me too.. I have been to that place..

you are making me curious

HE: That girl sat at the top row of balcony seats

And I was sitting two-three rows down

That girl was talking too much, that’s why some times during the movie I found it hard to concentrate on the movie

Sangita: okay

HE: Was that you?

Sangita: I think may be.. I am not sure if it was you who was looking back.. were you sitting at down left corner??

HE: Yes

With my girl-friend

That time also I knew your name

Sangita: shit man

HE: What?

Sangita: look at my memory and how I focus on things..

I am thinking about my observation..

I want to see you now if you are free.. let me see if I really know you..

but see I remember the memory.. how come 🤔🤔🤔

my brain.. wow

Now I am surprised to go back to the memory of that movie theater.  I was with one of my best friends who was the best company during that time. We were watching the movie, I don’t even remember the movie name and more than that we were talking so much. The theater was almost empty. Saw another guy looking back again and again from the down left corner. He was with a girl. I felt that I am disturbing by talking loud. But yeah, no regret about that. We continued talking and now this conversation with this unknown person is becoming known-unknown. I am surprised to think that how that small incident I can remember. It’s like a computer database, I pressed ctrl+f and then found the memory.

At the same time I am getting a question how this person remembers me so well. There must be some reason behind, let’s concentrate on what he has to say now:

HE: What are you saying

What do you think who am I?

No, may be my face could miss lead you

As I have changed a lot in last few years

You could see the album of my Facebook profile pictures, it could be more helpful

Sangita: I don’t have any clue who you are.. I never used to know people from my area..

but still I will check your old photos

but.. was that incident so prominent that I remember and you too??

I am just surprised

HE: I used to hangout at Maslandapur 2 no. Platform

Sometimes in front of ticket counter

Sangita: okay.. but did I know you? it seems you know me.. how do you know me??

HE: You used to wear a salwar kameez..and it seemed a bit longer than others

May be you don’t know me

Because you are not supposed to

But I know you because you live at Sholua, which is not very far from Ghoshpur, and Ghoshopur is where I live

Sangita: yeah I really don’t know you.. I just checked your old photos..

yes.. u r right.. you are perfect on your description

I am just speechless on my memory..

I knew that I remember very old memories.. but never knew that I can keep memories like this as well.. this memory was with zero priority..

HE: OK let me tell you

Sangita: ok tell me

HE: Our brain has infinite storage

Sangita: yeah.. I have got a nice proof..

HE: I am Probir’s cousin

If you can remember him

 

Oh My God, he is the cousin of my teenage love. Again my brain had a drive on those days. Felt it so beautiful. Never thought it can ever happened this way. I have created so beautiful memories which I can cherish now. I think this happens if you get to see the movie of your life. A lot of short movies create your life. The more you create, the more lively you are. I need to continue replying this unknowingly known person:

Sangita: yeah.. how can I forget him.. he was the sweetest boyfriend of mine.. so beautiful..

HE:Yes

Sangita: have I ever spoke with you?

HE: Never

Sangita: yeah..man..

HE: He used to like you a lot

Sangita: yes.. I know.. even I liked him..but trust me.. I didn’t know the meaning of love..I was just a kid.. and it went differently..

he was the guy whom I kissed for the first time on my own.. oh.. those memories..

HE: I know

Sangita: if you can feel my feelings now, please don’t take me wrong 

HE: Every bit of it. He used to share everything with me

We were besties

He was such a baby that time

Sangita: I don’t forget.. I never regret a single memory.. those were beautiful days… everything came in my mind all of a sudden..

HE: You made him nervous

Sangita: I know.. even I was nervous..but I was crazy as always..

 

Now I remember that exact moment I became so desperate to be crazy. That day he visited my home with another friend. I was alone at home for few minutes and it was rare. I completed the Sandhya aarti (Evening prayer in India) and lightened a Pradeep/ Diya ( an Indian lamp, specifically used for prayer). He was standing behind me leaned on the white wall. I remember it was electricity outage and only the Diya was available. I completed my prayer and stood up, turned back and went to him and told “I want to kiss you, close your eyes”. I touched his lips with mine, felt like electricity passed through my body. I opened my eyes and saw him in his closed eyes. He was waiting for my permission to open his eyes with his blushing face. Wasn’t it so beautiful  !!!?

Craziness at it’s best. I was always crazy and lively. That’s all I need to drive my whole life. A big Thanks to this friend who gave me a beautiful lift to my past..

It made my day..!!