It feels home now. The same feeling of the air, the sounds from the street, the singing birds and the sound of from the dancing trees. If I close my eyes it feels the same as I felt at my birth place. Surprisingly it is grounding me and connecting me with the oneness. When my eyes are closed it is easier to feel. But, when my eyes are open I still feel it and something passes through the left side of my spinal cord. We can call it Spirit.
My favourite environment was always like this. Feel home all the time and feel the security. In this environment I would read, write, cook and feel. Feeling is really important for life. Different place same feeling or same place different feelings. People usually search for the second one. I am with the first one. Feeling the whole world as my home.
I would love to live this life with the feelings within. The spiritual activation has activated the vision inside me. I feel more and more connected to the environment. Everything starts with what I am feeling inside. Until it feels bad I know I am going right. When it feels bad I work with me to understand the conflicts.
This is the second half of my journey of self exploration. It aligns with my stay over another country. In the first half I got challenges, clues and lessons to start the second half. The lost mind of first half was grounded and then the second half started with some modified wisdom. I am now committed for another two years of self exploration.
What I am learning now is to save the energy inside because with very little energy we could complete daily activities of what we want. I don’t need to spend all the energy to continue the talk in the head. Anything which doesn’t involve another human’s willingness (basically when I am the one and only person, first person singular number), I can get whatever I want. So this is the second lesson extended to first lesson of saving energy.
The third thing I am learning is Time and Space. No matter how much our head talks, we cannot go anywhere until it is right time, until the concerned space is being planned to evacuate for me. That is the time gap between wish and manifestation. Small example of getting the apartment I am living now. I used to take bus from office to the previous apartment and each day I felt I am staying in far distance. Whenever the bus crossed this place where I am living now, I felt I wish I could stay somewhere here. Then I was desperate to move and restless in my mind thinking how would I get an apartment here and there was zero answer. I had no clue where I will end up. But I was so damn desperate that I started wrapping my stuffs and notify the land lady that I will be leaving and will not extend the contrast with her apartment.
Then the time came when it has been planned to evacuate the place for me. I was being contacted naturally without my effort. I visited the apartment for the first time and I knew I need this place. My life changed dramatically once I moved to this apartment. Now I feel this is how it was planned on the right time at the right place. So the third lesson I am learning is to understand no matter how badly I want something, it would come to me only when it is time and it has been evacuated for me. And communication will come to me naturally.
With this third lesson I am learning the extended fourth lesson which is letting it go because it’s not the right time. On the right time I will be available and the wish will be available too. That moment would be the right moment to be. In between there wouldn’t be any moment to wait because there will be plenty of work to do and grow.
The fifth lesson is to continue learning to listen to my inner feelings instead of the talk of my head. The talk in my head has all the errors, it operates based on all superficial experiences and it doesn’t have any connection with the heart. It just talks whenever my heart is not talking. The talk stops when my heart is talking. Whatever happens in my life is only because of the thoughts from my heart not because of the talks of my head. The talk in my head has zero impact on my practical life.
The second half is going to bring lot more clarity in my lessons. I am sure I will never regret investing on myself. Everything I wrote here came naturally from heart, I haven’t planned a single sentence. I think it’s OK to be unplanned.