My biggest fear, hardest challenge. I remember having dream of getting married some ten years ago and then it faded away. No one could possibly talk to me about my marriage arranged or love. Neither I said yes to my parents nor I found the right one until the year 2018. Something happened and my life turned upside down. I wrote about it many times. The girl who ran away from the topic of marriage she changed her mind. Slowly opened up and started dreaming about a new future.
But, yes before that everything had to be on right place. My mind had to feel settled and ready for the biggest change. Convincing myself for marriage has been a tough job. Even if I liked the one but I couldn’t open up my heart for more than a year. Then finally the day came when my heart opened up and got sign to share my feelings. Obviously I have no intension to pursue the man, but sometime it happens that we keep liking someone and they don’t even know we exists. So I intend to share what he is up to.
He is moving out of this country itself. So now what? Did my dream break? Off course not! He is the one who came in my life as a blessings. He has no idea what happened to me because of our encounter. If I have ever seen God in human it’s either in my father or in him (till date). I have no way to be upset in my life. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I still cannot believe he is planning to leave my life. If this is how angels comes and fix us then I can understand but, I don’t understand what exactly I am supposed to do now!
The lessons my life taught doesn’t allow me to beg anything. I know I am supposed to get what I deserve. My heart doesn’t say to be unhappy either. I am happy as if tomorrow is my marriage. And then my mom asked if I am ready for arrange marriage. I said yes. I will now see what life brings me. The one I met or the one my parents will find. I had to surrender and saying yes to arrange marriage is a great way to surrender.
I am ready now. I am ready love.