Yesterday I was watching a simple funny short film where the girl said something like this when the boy proposes to her: ‘I really like you but, as a friend’. The boy asked: ‘Why is that? I always thought you have feeling for me. Did you use me to get help?’. Girl replies: ‘Why would you say like that? It’s better to be friends because I am afraid to get into a relationship as I had a bad relationship before. I cannot imagine to have the emotional turmoil again.’
Ah! that last answer from the girl is what I needed to hear. I realised it was always their fear and I felt there is something wrong with me. This is why knowing self-worth and self-love is important to give a back when we face this kind of scenarios. I eventually realised that there is nothing wrong with me, there is nothing wrong with anyone. But, still I didn’t have the answer of ‘Why’. That one short film has given me insight. Well, at least I started to re-analyze the ‘why’.
I am also one of them who said NO to others, but at least I had that clear statement of why I am doing what I am doing. Any kind of rejection creates a mental pain. An explanation could give back to handle oneself. The same never happened to me as they might not have any idea why they are saying a NO. Although I got many ‘sorry’ from them after a long time when I have learned to get over it and the sorry was accepted to release them from their thought of being cruel might impact their Karma.
Although I thought none of them (exception is there) were really deserving but I learned few great lessons just because they had enter in my life in some point. This is going to be a long story if I explain everything in detail. But, still below are few of the lessons:
- never ask for a why when someone says NO to you.
- never create a situation where you feel you have the right to ask for the ‘why’.
- Know your self worth, that will drive your choices to the right direction.
- Know your actions and what could be the result of it.
- Practice Self-love to give yourself a back when you do not receive a validation.
- Never stop asking even if the answer is always a NO.
- Asking is always OK but, asking the same thing to the same person is NOT OK.
- Believe in their answers, it never changes.
- Forgive them even before they say a sorry.
- Forgive yourself for everything you did to hurt yourself.
- Pray for their healing.
That’s it for today!