Anxious..

 

anxious
/ˈaŋ(k)ʃəs/
adjective
1.
feeling or showing worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.
2.
very eager or concerned to do something or for something to happen.

Being anxious is the current state of my life. I am not so sure how much I must be responsible to bring this into my life. I don’t want to be anxious anymore without put it down here. I am anxious about the life senario where I feel everything is working the way it must be, life is taking its course. If I feel everything is okay then why am I anxious?

I am anxious when I decide to talk to people, specifically when looking for guys who could possibly be a good friend or a poential life partner. I just can’t talk or chat with anyone even if it is the man of my dream. I ask myself why do I need to try to talk at all when I am not capable of it at all? No answer comes. I decide to say, may be I don’t want to give up. It is getting wired.

I am losing myself in my own solitude. But I don’t want to go out of this or I don’t know how to? Will I ever be able to rescue myself? I will surely when the right time will come.

It seems I am loving being sad even if there is no good reason. When it rains or when it’s cloudy or even when it is totally fine out there, I am just quiet. Does that mean I am sad? Do I only project sadness on my face? May be or may be it doesn’t really matter.

But, after all this, I know very well that I am anxious and I will get rid of it without compromising my choices or my standards. Recently read a quote like this:

don’t fool yourself if the wrong person treats you right when you are alone.

I know right! this is so true. So I keep being anxious and know that I am the only one to rescue myself, no one else can.

they were there

 

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