It would take much more fight with myself to get into a relationship. Even before I reach to a point of being in love my subconscious start bringing all the negative scenarios I have experienced in the past. Mostly because of my stupidity or because I choose to be stupid in the past. My subconscious has always warned me ot won’t work and it didn’t. Now that I am aware of all the mistakes and took the lessons, I thought I could get into a good relationship easily. But, subconscious in between triggering all the insecurities I have.
I am realizing that whole 15 years of negativity in the area of relationship is going to give me a hard time to shape my subconscious towards positivity. I would need to walk really very slow to feel that every single step is going safe and I am becoming secure. I would definitely appreciate the man who would hold my hand to back me up during the difficult conflicts within me.
I am hopeful that I will get over it and learn to believe there could really be a very beautiful trustworthy relationship. My faith is on test now. I wish soon I find myself without the fear of failing again.