We often find ourselves criticising the behavioral traits in others. Do we know how we recognise them in other? Or do we recognise how they came within our mind? I have been analysing all my negative behaviors and I was surprised find out the root of those. It came from my closed circle. No not friends but, family. Yes, you heard it right, it isthe family we are born.
Study says it takes only 7 years to get our personality build. But, how? At the age of 7 how we build our personality? As a human child we depend on our parents and close family member. We learn everything by copying and practicing. Basic things we learn is: trust, dependency, walk, talk, eating habits, behavioral habits and as much as you could identify for a 0-7 year child.
So our behavior, our so called personality is a replica & a little modification of how we have perceived the replica. Just like if you put blue color on top of yellow you get the color green. We are that much different from our family (if it is a neutral family then I would say parents only). 0-7 year old children can only be influenced by their parents as they trust themfrom their birth and learn that is the only source of dependency.
You can counter my thought by saying a child is sent to the school and they learn things from the school as well. Yes, I agree, the school actually train them on few areas and there is a little bit of influence to build the personality because the they still spend the closest time with their parents and present their little behavior at school as well. Before they go to school, they have already leared the idea of self. At the end of the day they reach their birth teachers and they fully trust that reality is permanent.
So basically we all are a replica of our parents (largely family). From childhood we are being compared with our parents like: s/he looks like their parents, talk like their parents, gets moody like their parents. This comparison helps as well. We start identifying ourselves with our parents or differnt family member and surprising thing is we feel the pride in it. If we are not similar to our parents, we may get into identity crisis.
Now, you could say, we do not like many traits of our family members and we are trying to do different. Again remember that color concept and how different we are is mixing red, yellow and blue and get the color brown. We are that brown color and by identifying our family traits we actually have it within. Becuse we are cntinuously meeting new people, influencing ourselves with all the posible examples, we learn to know what is good and bad as categorised by the society. So we criticise the bad categories and appreciate the good ones.
Not liking a trait or liking something in our parents and family doesn’t really asure you do not have it. You have it, and if you want to change it, it is going to be hard. Because your mind needs very strong ground to change. Only thing to remeber, not to become the same thing as you thought you would not repeat. If you have become conscious about your behaviour, you can change it by being close to your family and that would let you prohibit the most common mistake of going away from family and make a family to impose the same traits to your children and let the cycle repeat.
If you are close to your birth teachers, not necessarily at the same home, you are tend to remember their traits and not pass it to your next generation to recycle it. Your consciousness could change many things as the whole huan race has changed with time. The consciousness of our generation will create a new blueprint. We just need to find out the root of our negative and positive behavior. As we are the key to influence our children, we are the ones dreams to see the next generation world, we are the creator of that next generation. Don’t take it casually. The same way our ancestors made this present world.