If you tell yourself you need them, you are right.
If you tell yourself you don’t need them, you are right again.
It’s all about what you want.
All day long we fool ourselves with the thought of who or what we need in our life to be alive, to be happy and to feel secure. Truth is, we really don’t need anybody to keep ourselves alive. We just need the clarity of what ‘need’ is?
Need is what mandatory for us to be alive. We need Oxygen, water, food etc. ‘Need’ is not related to emotion. We have emotional needs but, need is not emotional. There is nobody out there who would breath on behalf of us. Nobody does that. Same way nobody else can take responsibility of our emotions. We have to take the responsibility.
Couple of weeks ago when I was informed that I am going to lose my job being in abroad and during this world crisis, I was shocked, broken and my confidence level immediately went down to zero. I couldn’t think of anything right. I got a bundle of thoughts running through my head without my control. I became insecure for all the areas in my life. My thoughts were like: Would I get a good job? How would my parents react? When would I get back to home? When the flights will start? How would I manage to wrap up my things in this short time?
None of the thoughts had an answer, my mind just kept fooling myself with the questions. Didn’t think that there is no one else who would answer those questions, I have to make the answer and those answers would be my plan. Since this emotional turmoil never really works long upon me, I got back to normal within few days finding my answers. And I got one answer:
I don’t need them, they are my wants and my wants can be changed accordingly.
This realisation reminded me why I was hired and relocated on the first place. I really am the answer. I am the one who serves and does the work. I can do it anywhere I want. My identity in a profession is defined by what I do. Even if I hold an important position I could definitely choose to leave anytime or must be ready to leave if I am asked so.
On the same context, need is our weakness. We should have clear idea about the weaknesses in our life. If we put more things in the ‘need’ category, we choose to make ourselves weak. For example, we should not make any relationship a ‘need’. The moment we choose that, we put the relationship in weak category. A relationship of any type should empower us. It must be a ‘want’ just the way I thought about my job.
If we think practically, other than necessities for survival all other things in our lives are our wants. Our wants empower us. We should always choose wisely what goes to ‘want’ section and what goes to ‘need’ section. If you need more, you choose to be weak. That is not what we are born to do. We are here to want and make it work.