Ego as I-go. The subtle nature of Ego could actually be very interesting and at times confusing. When we use I, it’s not always ego, it could be a simple reference to ourselves. But, it could trigger the other person with the feeling of left out/ not included. You might hear another person saying ‘all you talk about is I’, whenever there is the term ‘I’ has been used. The ego takes over the person who claims instead of the other person.
A person might have got offended because of a confrontation. Accused person waits for the right opportunity to put down the other person in front of multiple audiences just to satisfy their ego and feel superior. If any of the audience is in favour of the accused person, and have ego influence, will take revenge on behalf of the same accused person who has already encountered the satisfaction of superiority. The audience is giving the accused a bonus of ego shot, a validation.
Accused goes to the best supporting role and informs about a scenario which has offended them. The support person blinds themselves and turn themselves into the same ego as the accused. They wait to increase their audience to feel superior than the accuser. Both accuser and accused wait and increase their audience until they find a person who take action on behalf. The booster of ego.
Accuser accuses based on baseless expectations. This expectations are to comfort themselves by changing others according to their mindset. The familiar routine of the accuser has became rigid that they can only think of changing everything according to their norms. If the change doesn’t take place, accuser accuses the accused saying that they have been disrespectful.
Accuser identity themselves with a rejected wish of theirs. They would feel ‘since my wish has been rejected, I have been rejected.’ They may feel better by punishing the person who rejected. The punishment would be silence treatment. During the silence period the accuser is collecting support evidence to feel rejected over a period of time. Accused itself become the accuser of themselves by defending any truth about them. They are well aware of that fact but, it somehow hurts them to accept. So they start defending the fact and feels accused.
Out of all the examples I have given, I mostly enjoy the last example, the silent treatment of the accuser who have accused themselves. And most of the time I am the one who has rejected their wish at the first place. After being silent for a long time, one fine day the Ego dissolves because they haven’t find any ego boosting support from the other end. Although they could build another scenario which makes them feel superior. It could be that they are the one who values things not the other person. Although they might know it deep down they were never being rejected, it was their wish which was rejected. It actually goes on until they come back to their true sense, by dissolving the Ego.
These are the most common ego driven scenarios we all have experienced. Sometime it is us who played both accused and accuser’s role. This all I call Ego boosting. Feeling superior is one of the best hobbies the Ego has. It is indeed successful to collect all the supporting facts to feel superior.
The best solution to dissolve your own Ego is to become conscious about your internal feeling and the words you are using. The moment you become aware that it is not you who is talking or feeling, it is the ego, the Ego dissolves its power immediately. On the other hand when you are invited to participate as support system of someone else’s Ego, if you listen to them and do not take any action, do not defend their Ego, you do a great job by not boosting their Ego. Although if not you, they will find someone else unless they become aware of their Ego.