Sometime I wander if we really aquire new knowledge or we just improve the interpretation of our existing knowledge! With every year the interpretation shifts dramatically. Sometime it gets a better clarification to an existing concept and some other time the whole story turns out to be a whole new discovery. The unnecsecities I would talk about is mostly related how we are the responsible ones to ruin our own happiness.
So far I am a slow learner, a very slow learner. The benefit of learning slow is you learn it on your own after too much of trial error. And at the end of the day embarrased in front of yourself thinking why you couldn’t understand this simple strategies earlier in your life. It would have saved a lot of energy and had seen the fun part early on. But, yeah on the other hand you praise yourself saying at least you understood at this point of life, many people don’t understand until they are at their death bed.
Talking about energy is the main point here. The points which I wish to tell my youngerself or the young generation who are behaving just like I did at my 20s, even in the beginning of my 30s. The unnecessecities goes like below:
By going back and forth to your past and remembering your pain doesn’t level up your enegery. It drains your energy and doesn’t reward your present by any way. Your learned lessons are not lessons until you let go of your past stories and close them in the memory lane itself.
The truth is your past did not contain only painful stories. Your past had a lot more happy stories which got you where you are. If you are a happy person now, it is because of those happy experiences which told you happiness exists. You didn’t fight pain to achieve happiness. All along, you believed in the happiness more than the pain you had experience.
We do not become smarter by investigating others life. We simply waste our time and energy to investigate something totally unnecessary just to feel Genius of ourselves. This is called a lack of boundary. We cross our own boundaries and fight to enter someone else’s boundary just make ourselves some Sherlock Holms.
This scenario applies to relationships, any kind of relationship. Lack of trust is our own problem. It really depends on the stories in our mind and less on the reality. When you let your brain to drive the car of your Emotion, it happily gives you a bumpy ride of crazy imaginary stories. And you actually believe on those stories and start your investigation by questioning your target. Can you recall any instance where you were someone else’s target? It doesn’t feel good right?
We don’t keep a count of our valuable time and go beyond any necessity. Only if we have respected ourselves truely, observed how we are being treated by our target, have the guts to remove them if they are really toxic or accept them as they are with us in reality, it would save a lot more energy, bring a lot more happiness and help us to build right kind off relationships.
We do not have a tracker of our life, we do not control our life as well. The little we control our life is to serve our physical body. Then why do we spend so much of energy unnecessarily on uncontrolable life scenarios? By doing it we lower our energy so much that we fall into the rabit hole of repeatition. To stop that hell we can only let it all go and let life take its own course. At the end of the day we all serve our own purpose, mostlikely it is spiritually predestined and physically surprising. We need to accept the randomness of that surprise.
Talking about suprise, are we ready? Most likely no. Even if we rebel so much while doing all the above, as if we are going to fix everything and live a peaceful life. If we are not ready for the surprises, if we are not ready to say ‘okay’ no matter what comes the next, we can never leave a fearless peaceful life.
At this point in my these few things I have understood, it feels clear to me. Although I keep searcing for better clarification to help myself. Real strength is when I know I don’t know and I accept whatever I get. I have learned to appreciate the present and stopped investigating. I admit I am no Sherlock Holms. And I am liking this newly discovered me.
Drafted: Feb 2021